Everyone is mad.

Lol I was ig usin guns and bombs and stuff u know how I do second panics and all. and just because Hahnee cudnt beat me she startin qqin "GET A LIFE " "HOW MANY ITEMS U GOT IN UR INVENTORY"


Like is it just me or were items such as bombs.... guns and panics MADE TO BE USED like gosh stop qqin and get ur blok game up foh.. stop complainin

 

I ain't gonna lie, I do the same thing you do.

I block all the time because of this **** though.

 

They hate you

 

Boi they ain't no time for casual gaming.

I dont mind people using all that xtra goodies, (i will call you a feg if use skele bomb )

 

Dear Diary...

It’s happened again. That black hole that encompasses you fully and shakes you about whilst you cry and scream for help has returned. It’s sad really, that we can’t be happy all the time but that is reality. And yes, reality is a *****. I don’t know why it’s here but it is and sometimes it feels okay and the black hole shrinks into a tiny spot that hurts just now and again, but then it grows, mainly at night, and you can’t ignore it, all you can do is cry and hurt until it shrinks enough for you to live your normal life. That black hole lives within many of us and it grows and shrinks with us. Maybe we control the black hole but maybe we don’t. It’s easier to think we control it but when it’s screaming at you it doesn’t feel that way. I think it’s in my head and it causes me to shout things at myself (not out loud, I’m not that crazy). It’s cruel and it makes me cry until I’m weak. That’s the thing, I am weak and I always have been. I don’t show people how sensitive I am and I never cry in front of people. My vulnerability is hidden away just like I want it to be. Little comments they cause the black hole to grow. “You’re eating a lot” someone says and later on all I here is the voice in my head “You’re so fat and disgusting and ugly. Your boyfriend must be embarrassed to be seen with you. Why do you even exist? You don’t deserve anyone to love you, you ugly fat piece of ****”. I know I can control the voice but sometimes it’s easier to just face it because deep down I believe it. Am I insecure? Yes. Self-conscious? Yes. Crazy? Depends on what you think crazy means. You can make that judgement. The black hole can’t die it can only shrink and all we can do is try to make it as small as a pinprick.

The truth is… I’m scared about so many things. I’m scared my boyfriend is going to leave me. I’m scared I won’t get into uni. I’m scared of going to uni and being all alone. I’m scared of people around me presuming things about me they have no right to. I’m scared the black hole will grow too big. I’m scared my grandma won’t recover from cancer. I’m scared no one will ever be able to love me because I don’t accept myself. I’m scared that I’ll never be able to fully trust anyone and most importantly I’m scared of my mind and the tricks it plays on me. The mind is a wonderful thing but it has so much power, it’s scary. It can make you believe things that aren’t true and make you think about things that will never happen. It excites you and disappoints you, it confuses you and elates you. The mind is the most important part of living and once your mind turns on you, it kills you. Fortunately our mind usually wants to live and only turns on you temporarily. My mind makes everything bigger than it is and makes me upset or angry for silly reasons- I’m paranoid and think everyone dislikes me it seems. A reflection of my view of myself? Quite possible.

I don’t know what it is but when things don’t go to plan or don’t act how I want them to or expect them to, I get frustrated. I must be a control-freak but at the same time, I’m super laid-back most of the time. Expectations make me crazy because people and events don’t always live up to such expectations. This offers a wave of disappointment perhaps. In case you haven’t noticed, this post is basically a counselling session for me without the extra person in the room. Why am I like this? *I’m playing the role of both counsellor and patient, because I’m multi-talented* I don’t know why I get so angry with people who say and do things I don’t expect maybe I’m just a spoilt brat who wants everything done her way? I don’t think I’ll ever found out the true answer so let’s go with that one!

Philosophical question of the day: How do you know your perceptions are real? We don’t. Everything that I perceive as everyday could all just be my imagination… I could be in a coma or on a different planet in a dream or looking back into the past from a teleporter from the future. We don’t know anything is real. We perceive it as real and that’s all we can do. I don’t know if my perception is the same as anyone else’s which is scary to think. We all perceive things differently so who is seeing what is real? All we know is what we are taught but colours could have different names to each person how would we know? We presume what we see is real because we interact and can change a course of events. Therefore we must be real and so must everything we see around us. At least that’s what we think…
Anyway, it is tres late and I should be trying to get to sleep in this extremely cold bed of mine. That’s England for you, cold even when you’re snuggled in bed. Au revoir mon petit pois xoxo

P.s. I love you and hope your black holes are pinprick

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Nice.

It's the skeleton/frost bombs that are annoying. Everything else, not so much.

 

^ daily message

 

I'm ready !!

 

HumoLoco loves you :>

 

Now we can die in peace.

 

Read the entire thing
all I got say is . I Can Fill that Hole

Dam dam hook me up

 

:>

 

Lol what

 

ikr. tryna tell her i can fill the hole

 

Looks like you're the mad one.

 

I caught this guy on the actual game not forums, he's actually beyond garbage. Social media fighters

 

first off "emiya" this is a forum not social media. and just because u see me chilin and puton ur tryhard set with stats and jump like a frog on moon doesnt mean ur good. idk why df u think people try 100% of the time they play. ur the forum fighter. stay huntin forumers niqa. "get a life" then again u might ddos me so nvm ggs

 

Do you know what’s strange? The fact that sometimes I don’t like blogging. Yes, I said it. Most bloggers wouldn’t but I did because this is a diary and diaries have no filter. It’s not because I can’t write or I have no motivation, it is literally because I don’t like thinking. Thinking too much makes my head hurt because there is too much inside my head like it’s all jumbled up floating around and it makes no sense. It’s hard to make sentences that make sense and go together because my head is all over the place and it just doesn’t stay still. I think I just put off thinking because when I think too hard, I think about things I don’t want to think about like pain, suicide, people that aren’t happy etc. I don’t like knowing that I can’t help. I can’t help my boyfriend or my grandma or my step-sister or my friends with their problems, I just have to sit there and wait. Wait for something to happen to make them okay. Do you know the pain of waiting? Do you know the feeling of knowing you’re helpless? This is why I don’t like blogging sometimes because it leaves me stripped and vulnerable and even though I try I can’t help you guys either.

Thinking is hard for me… Like really really thinking. Artificial thinking is easy like exams and solving problems but real thinking that’s a challenge because real thinking has no absolute answer… Real thinking means thinking about yourself and who you are and why we’re here and how things are possible. Real thinking is something that drives people mad. Is there a point in real thinking if it drives you mad? Yes. Real thinking is the gateway to the future, the gateway to happiness and the gateway to finding yourself. I may find it hard but all worthwhile things are hard at first. I don’t know if this makes any sense so I apologise.

Do you know what really hurts my head? The future. What uni do I want to go to? What grades will I get? Will I get a job? Will I be okay? I don’t know the answer to any of these questions but one day I will. Maybe that gives me hope to carry on my normal day to day life. Maybe it just makes me fear the day that I know because the answer could be very disappointing. Questions are always a gamble because we ask them without contemplating if we want to know the answer. But we’re humans and humans are curious organisms. Without curiosity we may be happier but we’d be extremely underdeveloped. Curiosity causes the growth of knowledge and knowledge, apparently, is power according to some guy in a book. What I’m really putting off is my personal statement because I’m not smart or interesting or academic on a piece of paper. I like writing fiction or thoughts but I do not like writing how incredible I am. I believe everyone is equal and so making myself seem superior feels so wrong to me. How I’m going to write it I really don’t know! I plan to do it over the summer but we will see I guess. I may post a draft version up for you all to see how lame it is. Exciting eh?

Philosophical question of the week: Is it better to love and lose or never to love? Yes this is a philosophical question I found it on a philosophy website. I personally believe it is better to love and lose but I’ve never really experienced the ‘lose’ part yet so I could change my mind at some point in the future. Losing someone you love is hard, I’ve seen it all around me, people crying and breaking down. It’s not pretty that’s for sure but can you imagine a life without any love? Just think how plain you would feel. The feeling of love is like nothing you can explain and you would do anything to keep it once you have it but if you never had it…. Well, I know I’d be sad. Love is what the world revolves around. If there was no love there would be no caring and people would be almost emotionless because what causes emotions? Love and hate (they are the main links you have to admit). Without love we’re left with hate. I don’t want to be in a world full of hate, do you? Losing someone you love isn’t easy and it feels like you’re being stabbed in the chest but at least you’re feeling something. It’s either happiness then pain or numbness the choice is yours. Actually, it isn’t. You’ll love someone someday and you won’t know why or how. You fall in love without meaning to, you can’t control it. The only thing to prevent it is to put up shields to protect yourself but this isn’t war people! Love is not scary, it is beautiful and magical and if you have it hold on to it.

Sometimes I feel like I’m alive but I’m not really living. I’m just plodding along doing my thing everyday but I feel tired and deflated all the time. I don’t feel excited or elated I just feel average. I’m also an emotional wreck, I feel like I’m on the brink of tears everytime someone says something nice or someone talks about being different or happy or sad or just most things make me want to cry. But I don’t because it’s normally when an advert is on or at a time when people would look at me like I’m crazy for crying. I try to hold it in. My mum said to me earlier that there was girl like me that she counselled…. Everyone perceived her as strong-willed and emotionless but really she was so sensitive deep down. She couldn’t handle her emotions… If she said something she may just breakdown so she didn’t. Everyone got her wrong, she was a different person on the inside. But no one ever gets to see that do they? When she said that I wanted to cry and breakdown and tell her she’s right but I don’t want this all stuck inside of me waiting to explode one day. But instead I smiled and nodded. It’s hard to understand why I’m like this, maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow.

Goodnight beautiful people, I love you all dearly xoxo


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To be serious I found this in someone's blog.

 

I'm only not using my second panics,back shells and other things to improve my skills you should too, that way people won't get salty and start crying like babies (we all know this will still happen smh) when u ez them lol.

 

440 angel wings, 950 devil wings, 719 turtle shells and 844 2nd panics. Never get to use cuz ppl obv gonna cry lol.

 

Yo just let them hate, I used to be like that. "Ew, third panic." "Ew, you edge?"
I used to want to be a "Top Mooner" LMAO
Dam I was a dumb ass lolipop, not I just play for fun, exos and all.
Man you cant take the game seriously..
#idgaf